Amanda's Testimony

Hey, everyone. I want to share a beautiful testimony from a dear friend of mine. Amanda is 24 years old, and truly understands the love of God, because she, like so many others, has a story of forgiveness and healing. I pray that you find healing for yourself also through her testimony. You are not alone. No matter what situation you may be facing.
(If you would like to share your testimony of hope and God's love, or any other message that you feel God has laid on your heart to share, feel free to email me at heathermountjoy@yahoo.com)

Amanda Lowery:

Age. 24

 

My Testimony ...

I grew up in church, my parents were Sunday school teachers and i accepted Christ when I was 10 years old. My parents sheltered me growing and i was a very active member in the youth group through out middle and high school. I was in leadership classes 8th grade thru my senior year of high school. I always got the most christ-like award every time my youth group went on a retreat. I was a girl after God's own heart and always eager and excited to share God with everyone I met. My senior year is when it started go down hill. I had started dating this guy that had graduated a year before me. I had the idea to save myself for marriage and only three months into the relationship he started to pressure me for sex. He threw out all the classic lines and back then I was the type who thought I always had to have some sort of male companionship to satisfy me. i got comfortable in the relationship and told myself I couldn't find anyone better and gave in for the fear of having him leave me. Come to find out being in that relationship and given in to his desire didn't satisfy me, it only added to my emptiness. My life just continued to get worse. Being shelter for most of life i decided to do it all on my own when I turned 21. I got involved in the wrong crowds, partied, did drugs, and gave in to more guys. At the time I believed that was the only a guy would ever accept me, because having them accept for who I was never worked out too well. After all that I'd always end up single and broken hearted with a little more added to my emptiness. In the midst of this journey I would always run back to God then always run away. I wish I could tell you after all that had happened previously that it got better but it didnt. My freshman year of community college I got a job working at Bi-Lo and met a guy there that I was working with. We started dating and Like all the times before a red flag would go up giving me the que to leave but I didnt. I was this guys first girl friend and telling him my past and then that I gave it all up to Christ I thought he'd be understanding but the only thing he was was just anothe rdesriring guy. I tried and tried to bring him closer to God and every time Id grow closer to the Lord he grew more angry. This I just could not understand. Well he also started preasuring me and what I should've done was run but I stayed and ended up giving in all over again. I wrestled with that regret for the whole three years we dated. wish I could tell you that our relationship got better but it didnt. The whole three years of that realtionship I prayed and prayed That God would change him and that he would see the light I had with in me and be drawn to that. Only to realize the light I had wasnt so bright anymore because he had dimmed it so much. Finally I had enough and just prayed to God that he would move or move me and thats exactly what he did. Jacob ended up breaking up with me and in was one the roughest and toughest breakups ever. I literally went crazy and drove myself insane thinking about it constantly. I turned against God and told him That Id much rather have jacob back than follow Him again becasue the pain of being without jacob was more than I could handle. I told God I didnt need his help and I didnt want his help because i have messed up so bad and disappointed him so much and it would be unfair for me to ask for his help. I ended up going into a deep and dark depression for half a yr. I had reached the lowest I would ever go, I even thought of harming myself so I could leave this world and be in pain no more. Until one day, I had enough of feeling so awful I fell to my face and told God I give up, I couldnt do this alone any more and couldn't handle the pain on my own. that was the day i told myself from that point on I was never going to let any man, any one or anything ever bring me down that low agian. if anything bothered me I was just going laugh about it, shrug it off, keep my heead up, keep smiling and keep moving foward. Today I can tell you that God reveals to me every day how much he loves me and that he is always here. I dont worry about finding a guy to satisfy the whole in my heart and my loneliness. because that spot has been filled by a pretty important guy already ... God! God has called me into the ministry of missions and working with the youth. I tell everyone i still get lonely but now IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL! I am perfectly fine if God doesnt have a special someone for me and if its not in his plans for me to get married and have a fmaily because the joy I'd would get from witnessing to others and helping orphans would be infinately greater than the joy of having a family! I look back on that day when I thought I couldn't make anymore and just look up, smile and thank God for making stronger than I could ever have imagined! Because of the pain, disappointments and emptiness I went through. After overcoming that, God laid on my heart to start a mentoring group for young teenage girls, called "STILL THAT GIRL" based on Britt Nicole's song. Its for girls like me who have and had that passions to change the world but got lost along the way. You're still that girl! Dont let your trials and pain hinder, hide and ever take away that passion. Its still in you, Remember God doesn't hate you, he'll ALWAYS love you just the same as he did before you fell! He may hate where you're at, so listen to his voice, he's calling you by name, speaking to your heart to pull you out of the darkness and tell you of better things to come! AND BELIEVE ME THERE ARE BETTER THINGS TO COME! Our God is not a God of comdemnation! He's a God of love with a sweet voice!

If you are wanting to share your story please don't hold back of the fear of judgement! We are here to help and never to judge. Your story is a story of mircale given to you by God, its a gift. Don't let what others think stop you from reaching out!

Psalm 51:17
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, broken heart and contrite heart. O God, you will not despise!"